Things I’m Loving 10.29.24

I can’t believe October is almost over! I’m normally not very into Halloween, but I’m very excited to take the boys trick or treating this year - keeping my fingers crossed for no sicknesses because so far Camden has ended up sick for both Halloweens he’s been here for. I’ve only skipped one week of “Things I’m Loving,” but it feels like it’s been longer. Last week I wrote about my experience on transitioning from 1-2 kids vs. 0-1.

Tower 28 OneLiner in ‘Paint My Number’ | I think at this point it’s impossible for me to do one of these posts without mentioning a lip product. I absolutely love the formulas of these liners from Tower 28 - they can be used on the eyes, lips, and cheeks (although I primarily use them as lip liners). It’s creamy enough to glide on easily, but waxy enough to stay put throughout the day without fading or smudging. They recently expanded their shades and my new favorite is Paint My Number, a true brown-mauve. It’s a great everyday fall lip - it’s a little deep and moody.

Madewell French Hair Pin | I’m always looking for ways to get my hair out of my face both at work and at home (Carter will grab a handful of my hair and not let go if it’s down) and lately my favorite is using this French Pin from Madewell. It looks so chic and is super sturdy - I’ve tried other French pins like this but they feel flimsy and just slip out of my hair. This holds my hair in place for hours without slowly sliding out or giving me a headache.

Stratia Velvet Cleansing Milk | I recently ordered a couple things from Stratia and while I was waiting for them to be delivered, it reminded me to pull out some other products from the brand I already had. I had forgotten what a nice cleanser this is. It’s a simple cream cleanser that is able to remove makeup and also gets my skin feeling really clean but not stripped. This has been living next to my sink for a few weeks now and I can’t stop reaching for it both morning and night. I just love everything I’ve tried from Stratia - the products are so effective yet affordable!

Universal Thread Betsy Clogs | I love my Birkenstock Boston Clogs, but this year I haven’t been a huge fan of the color I have anymore (it’s a really warm, almost yellow-brown - I think the shade was called Mink). As much as I love how comfortable the Birkenstocks are, I couldn’t justify the price of another pair in the taupe shade I was eyeing this year when I have a perfectly good pair, so I decided to try out these dupes/knockoffs from Target’s Universal Thread brand. They’re a good enough copy for me! They’re really comfortable and feel like they have memory foam in them, and they fit my feet really well - I have quite narrow feet and these feel perfectly snug (so if you have wider feet I’d consider sizing up!). Wearing them side by side with the Birkenstocks they’re a little bulkier, but I don’t mind. They’re the perfect taupe shade I was looking for, too.

Kulfi Beauty Zari Eyes Cream Eyeshadow in ‘Sitara Sparkles’ | I don’t really wear eyeshadow on a daily basis anymore, but I went to my friend’s wedding last weekend and wore this and was absolutely obsessed. I had gotten this eyeshadow a while ago but I don’t think I ever actually got around to wearing it until now! The Sitara Sparkles shade is a unique rose gold with silver sparkles. Rather than looking glittery, it gives a glossy look to the eyes that I really love. It is really easy to apply - it has a wet formula that spreads and blends easily on the eyelids. I used a primer underneath when I wore it to the wedding, and it lasted all night with no creasing.

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What Was a Harder Transition: 0-1 or 1-2 Kids?

This is a topic I googled extensively when I was pregnant with my second baby. I didn’t write about it here, but I touched on it on my Instagram stories here and there at the time - I suffered from pretty bad postpartum depression with my first, so even though I knew I wanted a second child, I was terrified. Around the time we decided to start trying for a second, everything I read said, “Oh don’t worry, 0-1 is so much harder than 1-2! You’ve got this!” So I was like, “Ok yes let’s go for it.” Then it seemed like as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test all that content switched to, “1-2 is so much harder than 0-1, you’re f#$%ed.”

I know now it’s just a different experience for everyone, and the algorithm was working as the algorithm does and serving me what I happened to be most anxious about! I thought I’d throw my two cents in to share my experience on the transitions between children.

For me, the transition to becoming a mother for the first time was so much harder than adding a second child. It was such a huge adjustment for me to get used to taking care of someone and having them depend on me every minute of every day. But by the second time, I’m used to it - for me, having a second child has been easier than having the first because I simply have more experience.

I’m used to being needed all the time, as I said above. I have the perspective to know it all goes by so fast, so I’ve learned to savor and soak in everything about the early months, even when it’s not the most fun. The sleep deprivation still really sucked the second time around, but still I was more used to it (nothing can prepare you for newborn sleep the first time, I think), and having my toddler to show up for really helped to pep me up a little. I was also just so exhausted and uncomfortable by the end of my second pregnancy that even just a little bit of broken sleep after my second was born felt so much better than the sleep I was getting while heavily pregnant.

With my first, I got sucked into spiraling like “I’m never going to sleep again, I’m never going to have any time to myself again,” but now I see what a small snapshot of time this is in my whole life. My first turned out to be a pretty good sleeper once he got closer to a year old, so now on the hard nights when my second is having trouble sleeping, I have a sort of time frame in mind - like “it will only be like this for maybe 6ish more months,” and it really helps, even if it doesn’t end up being true! And once my first just took one nap per day, his bedtime moved earlier, so I got some time to myself after he went to bed. So when I’m feeling fried now I just remember it’s all temporary.

I often felt like I had absolutely no idea what I was doing sometimes when my first was a baby, and I wasn’t used to feeling so out of my depth at something. It helps so much with my second that now I have a sort of jumping-off point to solve a problem. Every baby is different - my second is so different than my first! - but any time he’s extra fussy, or not napping, etc, I can try something that worked to calm my first down (ie Taylor Swift’s Folklore album used to always calm my first down and put him to sleep, now Kacey Musgraves’s Deeper Well does the same for my second). Even if something that worked for my first doesn’t for my second, it still feels so much better to have at least some idea of what to try.

Having two means there always seems to be some sort of counter to a hard moment - if the baby is being super fussy or isn’t sleeping well, I can always count on my toddler doing something absolutely hilarious and it snaps me right out of spiraling about the baby. Or, if the toddler is having a rough day full of tantrums, it makes it easier to soak in all the sweet baby cuddles and babbling. Having a second child has really helped me to see the big picture, appreciate every little thing, and truly find the joy in every moment.

So in my experience, the transition to that first child was harder than going from 1-2. 0-1 is such a big existential change and challenge that I don’t think you can ever really be prepared for, and for someone who feels deeply uncomfortable “learning on the fly,” it was a lot for me. 1-2 is more of a logistical challenge of juggling both of their needs, and I like to think I’m a good multitasker, so it’s been a lot easier to wrap my head around!

I must also mention that since I had postpartum depression with my first, and I’m prone to anxiety anyway when not pregnant/postpartum, I made the decision with my doctor to start taking antidepressants as soon as my second was born, and I think that has helped make all the difference with how I’m feeling and handling things this time around. If you’re having a rough go of it, please don’t be afraid to ask for help - I wish I did sooner after my first was born.

Things I'm Loving 10.15.24

We had such a fun weekend, despite what I’m thinking is a painful bout of teething for my younger son. We had family photos taken on Saturday, and then we visited family and went to a pumpkin patch on Sunday! The boys also got their “school pictures” done at daycare last week, so between that and the family photos I’m just excitedly waiting by my email inbox to see how both sets came out. I’m usually not big into fall and Halloween, but I’m really trying to lean into it this year to make special memories for my kids!

Commodity Velvet Expressive Eau de Parfum | I’ve still been rotating through my perfumes almost daily, but I’ve been reaching for this one again and again. I love the Commodity fragrances and how they evoke a specific place or feeling. Velvet is my favorite that I’ve tried - on me it smells so similar to Maison Margiela Replica By the Fireplace, but it has much better lasting power. It smells sweet and smoky, almost like being at a campfire, and it’s just the perfect cool-weather scent. The top note is coconut water, middle notes are roasted almonds and rose petals, and the base notes are vanilla, amber, and smoky musk. I’m hooked.

Olive & June Long-Lasting Nail Polish in ‘Garnet Glass’ | My nails are still a little sad and broken, but the cuticle serum I mentioned last week is helping a lot. I finally painted my nails for the first time since the summer since they’re not feeling so weak and brittle lately and chose this new Olive & June shade - their nail polishes are my favorite. They have a great brush and the polishes hold up really well for me with minimal chipping, despite me being really hard on my hands at work. Garnet Glass is such a good fall shade, a deep berry-toned red, and it’s one of their jelly polishes so if your nails are less beat-up than mine you can wear it for a sheer wash of color that would be really pretty! I built mine up with an extra coat to be more opaque though, and I love how it looks.

Hot Cocoa Lip Balms - Glossier Balm Dotcom & Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm | Two of my favorite balm formulas have come out with Hot Cocoa scents recently, and I’ve really been loving both! They smell quite similar, but the colors and formulas are different: Glossier has a slippy-er, petroleum jelly texture, while Summer Fridays is a thicker, plush balm. I find that I can feel the Glossier hanging around on my lips for longer than the Summer Fridays, and it leaves more of a glossy sheen. I really do love them both though, though I prefer the shade of the Glossier - it’s a little more of a cool, red-brown, while the Summer Fridays balm is more of a true, neutral-leaning-warm brown.

Madewell Perfect Vintage Wide-Leg Crop Jeans | I wore my favorite pair of Madewell jeans for our family photos, and while they no longer offer the exact style I had (mine are at least three years old), these are almost identical. I think Madewell’s Perfect Vintage line just fit me the best of any jeans I’ve tried, and though they’re pricey, they really are much better quality than cheaper brands I’ve worn before.

ILIA Lip Sketch in ‘Rhyme’ | I haven’t mentioned this yet in one of these posts, but I’ve been going back to it time and again since I got it over the summer. I think all of ILIA’s products are brilliant, and I’ve been really impressed by these lip crayons. They have a a natural matte finish and feel super comfortable on the lips - they don’t feel dry at all. Rhyme is such a good shade, a cool pink-mauve. I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but that’s my favorite kind of shade!

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